Sookie Stackhouse

A couple of days after Sookie's unexpected trip to Bristol, and she was back to working with a renewed vengeance. No matter how long she dwelt on what happened there, on her renewed encounter with death on a scale all too large and far too wide, there was really nothing to be done. She couldn't go back to fix everything that had been broken, and no matter how many times she tried to talk to her three friends on the island, there was only so much that she could convince them of, being someone who only saw Bristol and the situation there for two days. Not wanting to feel so lost, hating the feeling of being helpless, Sookie had decided to take up her work on the island again. She fashioned flashcards out of cutouts from a blank, worn notebook she found on the bookshelf, first focusing on Italian, the bulk of which had felt like it all disappeared from Sookie's mind after all the hub-bub. As she sat on the front steps of the Compound, she flipped through the cards now and again, while also writing in some spare pages of the notebook, of the plan that she wanted to roll out for new arrivals.

"L'italia è un paese meraviglioso," she said with a flourish of her hand, giggling afterward to herself as she raised an arm over her head to stretch. "Well, at least, I'm sure it is, if I'll ever get to visit it in my life, but I'll take George's word for it."

That was when she heard approaching footsteps and looked up, beaming as soon as she saw the familiar face.

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While Sookie wasn't precisely the sort who believed that perfect attendance was necessary in order to do well in school, careful coaching from gran had taught her to respect those who took the time out of their day to impart their knowledge, especially when teachers seemed to get a lot less of a dollar value for the amount of effort that they put in. Combined with the fact that her teacher was one Buffy Summers, and Sookie had managed to make every effort to attend the biweekly martial arts courses, scheduling her shifts at the Winchester around them, always begging off a day early if she was somehow ill. But that week, she had missed the Wednesday lesson. No prior notice. No rushed explanation on the day after, no knocking on Buffy's door, none of that.

Because, quite simply, she'd forgotten. Spitting out pseudo-curses, Sookie quickly rustled through the clothes box, finding a pale yellow and pink striped jumpsuit, relatively innocuous until she realized the 'KISS ME' splayed over her behind in white block letters. Groaning, Sookie rushed off to the classroom regardless, tying her hair up in a high ponytail as she went, scampering up flights of stairs and hoping that she was early enough to catch Buffy before all the other students filed in. Once she arrived at the door, however, she wondered how exactly she was going to explain.

My boyfriend and I were unexpectedly busy?

Getting ass takes precedence over kicking ass?

Mitchell and I were having dance lessons?

Slapping both of her cheeks, Sookie decided just to wing it, pushing through the door and predictably finding Buffy there, laying out the materials that they would be working with that day. "Hey," Sookie greeted, expression slightly hesitant. "Need a hand?"

The first thing that Sookie Stackhouse had done, after finally moving all of her belongings into the hut that Miguel had passed onto her, was drop her relative location off with her big brother, so that Jason could find his sister at any given time. But when it came to the matter of inviting someone else over to share in the fact that she had finally settled, letting her roots stretch into the ground to keep herself anchored on the island, she wasn't sure that Jason was the best first option. As much as she loved her brother, the notion of showing him her attempts at a makeshift house or home seemed like it was asking for disappointment in one way or another. The two of them could never be home, not really, and the more they tried to shape it for themselves, the more they would miss the home that they'd spent decades in with their gran.

Besides, she wasn't exactly keen on letting Jason know that she had been sharing a place with a man before finally moving out on her own. No doubt that he'd call that living in sin, and Sookie just didn't want to find herself constantly wondering at the different standards her brother set for the both of them.

So instead, she had insisted that Mitchell come along to the small little area in the middle of the island that she could now call her own. Perhaps it was a bit presumptuous, even a little suggestive, inviting her boyfriend over to her place, a place that was solely her own and where not even the threat of supervision lingered. Then again, she told herself, it had been almost a month since the two of them decided to try and see what they could mean to one another, a month of taking things slow, so much that she could hardly believe that she had been with Mitchell for nearly twice the amount of time she'd been with Bill. That she had known him for over three months, several times the length of time that she had known any vampires back in Bon Temps. The very thought made her a mix of giddy and impatient as she led him by the hand to her hut, all laughs and bright smiles as wings beat against her ribcage.

"This is it," she announced, grinning from cheek to cheek. "It's not much, but I've finally got a place of my own."

When Sookie opened her eyes, she couldn't remember where she was. Couldn't remember what had brought her to that very point in time, laying on that very bed, staring at the perforated texture of the ceiling. Her heart was racing, her body ached, but her mind was a blissful silence as Sookie found herself with absolutely nothing but her senses to anchor her, hands balling into fists around corners of a soft blanket pulled up to her shoulders.

Slowly, the memories trickled back in, as they always did. She was on an island, one that had become a home of sorts over the past couple of months. The room was the clinic of a building called the Compound, one that most residents wove in and out of, because it contained most of the conveniences they were accustomed to from home. She was laying in the clinic after having spent a few days out in the open, exposed to the elements all while wearing very little, having relinquished her clothes to help someone more in need of it. It was with two other people, the sudden move out into the territory roamed by dinosaurs, all areas drenched by rain and there being no real way to navigate out of the area. What had been more terrifying than any of the details, however, was the sudden nature of it all, no warning or force for Sookie to grapple with, just something larger and more powerful than her that brought everyone to their knees. Made Sookie feel small, weak in ways she had long since vowed not to be, again.

But there she was, safe and warm in a bed, and what right did she have to complain about a nice ending like that?

She remembered other things, too, vague hints of murmurs passing through the clinic, people talking about the miraculous end of the rain, suggesting that the island had ceased its activity for now, letting people enjoy the status quo. Seeing no gazes lingering on her person, Sookie slowly sat up on the bed, wrapping the blanket tightly around herself and slipping to the floor, padding slowly out of the room. She didn't like hospitals. And she hated rain of the sort the island had gone through in the past month— Sookie didn't like rain to begin with, but being stuck in the thick of it reminded her of the weather those twenty years ago, the flash floods that led to the death of her parents. Rather than moping, what she wanted was the sun, to feel the rays on her face and maybe even find Jason just to enjoy it with him, the new weather that would hopefully help to push everything else out of her mind and place it solidly in the past. Sookie took to the sides of the hallways, one hand carefully lingering on the wall to keep herself steady as she made her way to the front entrance of the Compound, hoping no one would haul her back before she could take a breath of fresh air and enjoy it in full.

I don't think I ever consciously meant to keep Cal's gun for so long. Actually, I never intended to take it back to the hut with me-- I wouldn't have needed it, with the island being how it is and with a soldier living right next door. But after that breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, all practically drowning in syrup, the gun had just stayed safely tucked away under the belt of my shorts as I returned home to try and make sense out of everything Cal had said. Only to find out, of course, that Cal had actually been in Jason's body the whole time, so all those talks about loneliness and just wanting a normal life weren't his admissions. Possibly weren't even true.

Maybe, with my faith in the ability to read Cal so shaken, I was just keeping the gun as an excuse to talk to him again. Who knows how the mind works?

All I knew was that when I ended up being woken by the feel of my head slamming against the gun for the millionth time, it was high time to return the thing.

An hour later, I found myself at the front of Cal's hut, dressed in a camisole and shorts-- feeling somewhat dowdy for it, actually-- and wondering how I was supposed to call his attention without a doorbell. Maybe he was busy, maybe he wasn't even at home, maybe he didn't like being awake at eleven in the morning, maybe with my luck I'd come across Niko with his Eric Northman in Hawaii face.

But I tried anyway.

"Cal?" I called out, the gun still carefully tucked away under a belt. Well, as much as it could be, anyway-- it was a pretty large gun. Possibly overcompensating.

June 18th, 2010

When I wrote my first entry in here, I decided to start each entry with just a date. Because it isn't really like I'm writing to anyone. The diary doesn't know what I'm penning in it, and I get to talk to my gran when I pray every night. But now I'm feeling like I need to be able to talk to someone frankly about all of this, and it didn't take me very long to figure out who I'd give this to, if he ever came to the island. So let's start over.


Dear Bill,

It's been over a month now since I've arrived on the island, and everyone around me seems to think that I should be able to find a new life here. I know that gran wouldn't want me to be wallowing around, and time is — well, it's limited for me, so I guess I'm trying to live it as well as I can. I've moved in with someone — Walt Hasser — because the Compound basement feels too much like a prison, and because I don't think I can handle living on my own. He offered first, and he's a really sweet guy. I think you'd like him, if you kept your mind open long enough to get to know him. I also got a job at the Winchester, waiting tables like I did back at Merlotte's, although it's never quite as busy as rush hours were there.

Jason's been strange. Overprotective and a fair bit clingy, as well. I guess absence really does make a heart like his grow fonder, but if he keeps this up, I'm going to start feeling like I have to sneak around to squeeze any sort of fun in.

There are a lot of vampires on the island, turns out. Not only those I once watched on television — Angel, Spike... did you ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer when it aired? I feel like it's one of those shows that Eric some vampires would watch just to laugh at, so maybe you've seen an episode now and again. I was such a fan when it was still airing. And then there's Alice and Mitchell — and Mitchell's friend Annie, who was actually a ghost. I feel like there might be something more going on between Mitchell and Annie, or at least the potential for it, now that they're on the island. It makes me miss you so much more, and I didn't think that possible after I arrived.

Despite everything, though, I'm just tired. Always on edge. I did something that you wouldn't like at all kissed a guy, something I'm not entirely proud of. But I'm pretty sure that's now over before it began, because — well, actually, I won't say any more yet. You never really know how things will go in life.

I do miss you, though, and I pray every evening that you'll make your way here.


Love,

Sookie

May 9th, 2010

Well. Here I am. I'm still not sure where 'here' is in the big picture, but it's kind of an island paradise, and since I've always dreamed of heading to Hawaii one day, I guess I could have a lot more to complain about. I've heard it said that sometimes people come and go on this island, and usually when they come back, they don't ever remember having been here before, so I'm keeping a record in hopes of preventing that from happening. Hopefully, it'll be kept safe somehow — maybe I'll make a note on the cover that it should be given to the bookcase, if and when Sookie Stackhouse ever leaves the island.

I still can't believe all of this is happening.

Jason doesn't remember a thing that's happened since I killed Rene the incident at the graveyard, which I'd happily been able to kind of put into the background with everything else that was going on. Now, though, I'm starting to think about it a lot more, and I don't like it one bit. It's like being on this island puts all of my doubts together in this one big, negative bundle of energy that has my hair standing on end all the time. I worry about Bill, Tara, Sam... and what's worse is that I'm still having dreams the stuff that went on between me and Eric? It's still going on. Sorta.

I just don't have an excuse for it anymore. Which makes it worse, I guess. I feel guilty as all about it. But I'll just keep praying that Bill makes it on the island, somehow.

Because if he does... gosh, I can't even imagine. He'd be able to stay up with me during the day, he'd be able to eat with me. I could start wearing silver jewelry again — not that I've got anything with me other than the Rattrays' chain. Lord, we could even start a family.

But I'm getting way, way ahead of myself. These are only my fantasies, after all. If he really did come, there'd be issues, and in the end I feel like all of us from Bon Temps do want to get home, no matter what kinds of problems might pop up, there. Jason's... he's better off in home field. I'm still trying to get to the bottom of everything he's got to have been up to over the past year without me, but it's taking a while. It always does.

Oh, and of course I need to mention — Buffy and Angel are here. And Spike. And I'm sure there must be others of their group, too, I just... can't really ask without probably seeming like a creep. It's a little weird to be hiding so much from them, the fact that I know about their lives and that they were basically from a television show, in my world. But I think that with everything else that's gone on in their lives, they deserve not to feel trivialized (looked that up in the dictionary) by hearing that they're a source of entertainment for audiences in my world. It's still so neat to get to meet them, though. I wonder what kind of magic allowed that to happen. I wonder what the magic on the island is really being used for. Kind of scary.


Notable people:

Angel: Memory. Knows I dated a vampire.

Buffy: Memory.

Cal: Full name Caliban, but I don't think he likes it — and he shouldn't. Good at pool. Seems like a guy with a lot of secrets, though. Has a sense of humor that reminds me of the guys back home.

Gus: Real sweet, seems kind of clueless when it comes to street smarts, but probably well-read and good with book smarts. Knows when skirts are short and won't hesitate to point that out.

Mitchell: KNOWS. Vampire, kind of lived a similar life as Bill. British, but doesn't like tea. Seems really nice for a vampire, but also seems kinda... what's the word? Worn out? Jaded. Was in love with a human woman named Josie. Need to try to babble a little less around him.

Niko: Has Eric's face, which is really weird. Can't really read him at all. He's kind of... how should I put it? Like a statue. A polite statue with a poker face that he doesn't really want you to see past. And if that's what he wants, I don't really see a reason to fight it. Seems decent enough.

Rahne: KNOWS. Really sweet, also calls herself a mutant. She can could change from human form to wolf and back again. Misses her powers. Could be a good person to keep talking to about my telepathy.

Spike: Memory.

Guy in the orange spandex: Real jerk. Real narcissistic jerk. Misogynist. Stares at my tits and even lower, is completely unapologetic. Struck him on the face; would do so again if he doesn't learn his lesson. At least he didn't hit back, but that's still not saying much for him.


I'll update more as I wrap my head around everything.