heart sick and eyes filled up with blue

June 18th, 2010

When I wrote my first entry in here, I decided to start each entry with just a date. Because it isn't really like I'm writing to anyone. The diary doesn't know what I'm penning in it, and I get to talk to my gran when I pray every night. But now I'm feeling like I need to be able to talk to someone frankly about all of this, and it didn't take me very long to figure out who I'd give this to, if he ever came to the island. So let's start over.


Dear Bill,

It's been over a month now since I've arrived on the island, and everyone around me seems to think that I should be able to find a new life here. I know that gran wouldn't want me to be wallowing around, and time is — well, it's limited for me, so I guess I'm trying to live it as well as I can. I've moved in with someone — Walt Hasser — because the Compound basement feels too much like a prison, and because I don't think I can handle living on my own. He offered first, and he's a really sweet guy. I think you'd like him, if you kept your mind open long enough to get to know him. I also got a job at the Winchester, waiting tables like I did back at Merlotte's, although it's never quite as busy as rush hours were there.

Jason's been strange. Overprotective and a fair bit clingy, as well. I guess absence really does make a heart like his grow fonder, but if he keeps this up, I'm going to start feeling like I have to sneak around to squeeze any sort of fun in.

There are a lot of vampires on the island, turns out. Not only those I once watched on television — Angel, Spike... did you ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer when it aired? I feel like it's one of those shows that Eric some vampires would watch just to laugh at, so maybe you've seen an episode now and again. I was such a fan when it was still airing. And then there's Alice and Mitchell — and Mitchell's friend Annie, who was actually a ghost. I feel like there might be something more going on between Mitchell and Annie, or at least the potential for it, now that they're on the island. It makes me miss you so much more, and I didn't think that possible after I arrived.

Despite everything, though, I'm just tired. Always on edge. I did something that you wouldn't like at all kissed a guy, something I'm not entirely proud of. But I'm pretty sure that's now over before it began, because — well, actually, I won't say any more yet. You never really know how things will go in life.

I do miss you, though, and I pray every evening that you'll make your way here.


Love,

Sookie