"It was not one fucking person. It was more. It was a whole organization and the coroner and the police and the fucking people on our street and everyone, everyone, Sookie, everyone if they had known what I was would have taken the first fucking opportunity to kill me where I stood!"
All that vitriol, that hate that he kept locked inside, that was usually focused squarely on himself came spewing out now. In a better world, Sookie's tears would have stopped him. He would have answered with his own and agreed. He hadn't been proud, not even then. It had felt like justice, it had felt like the start of something. But pride didn't fit in with all the other emotions. But he saw Sookie crying and believed, genuinely believed, that she was crying for the loss of the lie that she had told herself.
Had she ever really loved him? How could she? He looked at himself and felt sick every single day. He swallowed it down and carried on, but the truth of it was that he was a monster. Who could love a monster? Not even someone like Sookie.
"I didn't have any humanity to throw away. I was a vampire," he growled. "It was me. Me, Sookie. I killed them and I've killed hundreds of others. You want to try and pin it on someone else? Say I was a different person?" Mitchell shook his head slowly. "It's who I am. It's more who I am than who I used to be."
Decades of killing. Blood-soaked nightmares. The face of every victim, crying for mercy. Even if he wanted to, Mitchell couldn't go back to the man he was, not ever.
no subject
All that vitriol, that hate that he kept locked inside, that was usually focused squarely on himself came spewing out now. In a better world, Sookie's tears would have stopped him. He would have answered with his own and agreed. He hadn't been proud, not even then. It had felt like justice, it had felt like the start of something. But pride didn't fit in with all the other emotions. But he saw Sookie crying and believed, genuinely believed, that she was crying for the loss of the lie that she had told herself.
Had she ever really loved him? How could she? He looked at himself and felt sick every single day. He swallowed it down and carried on, but the truth of it was that he was a monster. Who could love a monster? Not even someone like Sookie.
"I didn't have any humanity to throw away. I was a vampire," he growled. "It was me. Me, Sookie. I killed them and I've killed hundreds of others. You want to try and pin it on someone else? Say I was a different person?" Mitchell shook his head slowly. "It's who I am. It's more who I am than who I used to be."
Decades of killing. Blood-soaked nightmares. The face of every victim, crying for mercy. Even if he wanted to, Mitchell couldn't go back to the man he was, not ever.